Empathy: unfinished business or pending coursework? (EN)

(Lee aquí el post original en español)

Once again I was asked to translate a post, so here it is. I confess I did use Google translator this time. I was feeling a bit lazy to write it all over again. So, if you see any mistakes, please, let me know.

There is this ongoing debate about whether humans are capable of being genuinely altruistic or not. We can clearly distinguish two sides in this quarrel:

• Those who believe that all human motivation is basically selfish. Thus an individual who helps another does so because otherwise he would feel bad or guilty. The motivation to help is to reduce the negative emotional state (guilt) when not helping. However, if the person would find another way to reduce his/her discomfort (e.g. thinking that helping is not his/her responsibility), he/she will not help.
• Those who believe that the motivation to help others is based on empathy.

There are various definitions of empathy, but the following two are generally accepted by all experts:

• Cognitive empathy: is taking the perspective of another person (intellectually speaking). To put yourself in the shoes of the other.
• Emotional empathy: is to try to experience the same emotions that the other person is feeling, or to react emotionally to the same experiences that other person is living.

Numerous investigations have shown that having an empathic concern produces altruistic behavior. However, the most important discovery in this field is that empathy can be trained.

Through role-playing exercises empathy can be trained. Take the following experiment as an example. People were called into two groups. One group was told "try to take the place of another person," "try to feel what the other was feeling at a certain time", they were even asked to visualize it or write it down. Then they compared their behavior with another group of subjects who have not been trained. The results show that the people who were instructed to empathize with others helped them most of the times, in comparison to the other group who almost did not show any altruistic behavior. This type of experiments has been repeated in different contexts with the same results. People trained in empathy help and care more for others and they feel better about it.

Do you want to test your empathy? Have a look at the following test .

TEST OF EMPATHY

1) Your friend has got a job that you both wanted. You find out that he knew something essential to the job that he did not tell you  ...

a) You feel a little angry but it was either him or you, perhaps you would have done the same.

b) You forgive but not forget, if that's his attitude he can’t stop count on you from now on.

c) Well, it’s ok, he was interested in the job as much as you were and did his best to get it.

d) You get really angry, he did not play fair, he will pay.

 2) A friend of yours is going through some rough times. He sees tragedy in everything he does and he’s sinking in his despair…

a) You understand that he gets depressed but if he wants to improve his situation he’d better snap out of it and starts doing something productive.

b) You understand that he gets depressed, you help him with whatever you can and you let him now that you will be there for him whenever he needs you.

c) You understand that he gets depressed; you tell him that things will not improve by themselves and you and you offer to help.

d) It’s not such a big deal, everything in life has a solution and collapsing is just a sign of weakness.

3) In the dining room... you see a colleague. He is carrying his tray full with food, stumbles and falls down spectacularly: his food flies all over the place and he ends up in a ridiculous position on the ground...

a) You start laughing, you cannot help it.

b) You laugh, but you and the others help him up.

c) You hide your laughter. You and the others help him up and offer him a place at your table.

d) He might have been hurt, you ask him how he’s feeling as you help him, and you bring him to your table. You do not laugh the fall could have been serious.

 4) You're in a municipal office doing some hideous paperwork. You know the place well, since you had to go through the paper work several times, you know what steps you have to give, who to talk to and what papers you have to present at the desk. Then you see a person who is going to do the same as you but who has no idea what to do, he seem lost, you ...

a) You follow your path, there is always a first time for everything and he can ask at the information desk.

b) You do not like meddling in somebody else’s affairs, only if you see this person is having a hard time, you will talk to him.

c) The person is in the wrong desk, you warn him about it and if he asks you anything else you answer.

d) The person is in the wrong desk, you warn him politely and offer your help.

5) When you’re leaving work (or school) you come across a colleague who is completely depressed because his work has been sharply criticized. Yours, however, has been highly praised ...

a) You talk to him and pay him a drink to drown his sorrows and celebrate your success.

b) You talk to him and you promise him that you’ll help him with his next project because yours was really good this time.

c) You try to pass unnoticed. You think he’s a nice colleague, but you're too happy with your results and would not know to say.

d) You listen to him and listen to everything he needs to tell you. You try to be objective about his work and encourage him by reminding him the good things he has done so far.

TEST SCORE
Your answer	Question 1	Qtion. 2	Qtion. 3	Qtion. 4	Qtion. 5
a	3	2	1	1	2
b	2	4	2	2	3
c	4	3	3	3	1
d	1	1	4	4	4

Count the number of 1s, 2s, 3s and 4s, which you have obtained in the previous questions, by using the scoring table. See what number you have the most.

Majority of 1s. According to this score it seems that you rarely put yourself in the place of another. This does not mean that you do not help others, but you do it for other reasons. Empathy is a skill that is always advisable to develop. If we understand the reasons that other people have to act like they do or the reasons which led them to be where they are, it will be easier to understand them and accept them for who they really are.

Majority of 2s. This score is not very high, but not a bad score.  I would say that you usually try to understand others and try to see things from their point of view, but you do not always succeed. It is likely that the difficulty lies in your own value system. Your values are very well defined, you know your “should” very well and that’s why you find difficult to understand other’s attitudes and behaviors that do not match your point of view.

Majority of 3s. This result indicates that you find easy to see things form different point of views and that you understand the attitudes, ideas and reasoning of others. It is no easy task, because very often cannot understand many of the attitudes and behaviors that we see in the others on a daily basis. A good score on empathy is a sign of mental flexibility, openness and tolerance to different ideas and attitudes of others. This does not mean that we agree with everything we see, if a person chooses a specific lifestyle that we do not like, we can understand and respect it, but live our lives our own way. It is likely that others will seek your friendship and think you're a person they can trust.

Majority of 4s. According to this score, which is the highest, it is not difficult for you to understand other point of views and their resulting behaviors. You accept others as they are. If you were to make a career decision, you could certainly choose for the psychology or social work. Putting yourself into the shoes of another can be painful. We also run the risk of sympathizing with others, making you less objective and even likely to justify the unjustifiable.

In a competitive, individualistic and unsupportive society, where the bystander effect is a common issue, would it be helpful to teach empathy in schools? Do you think that the country you live in is competitive and individualistic? 

Did you know that one of the traits of the autistic disorder is the lack of empathy?