Good Friends vs. Psychologists (EN)

(Lee este artículo en español)


Since I went back to university to study psychology, people often ask me issues related to it. Almost in every social conversation that I am involved someone brings up the subject. In fact, when someone asks me, "what do you do?" I hesitate and I wonder if the response "I study psychology" goes in my best interest. Because once I make that revelation, there is no turning back and I assure you that I have encountered some strange situations.

There are people who panic and say:

Person: Oh, I have to be careful about what I say.

Alen: Why? Because so far you were not, or what?

Person: No, because maybe you are going to psychoanalyze me and read my mind.

Alen: Yes, you're right, I recommend that you look for some kryptonite if you do not want me to use my super mind reading powers on you.

"A psychologist is a mind reader", you have to be kidding me. I guess there are people who have something to hide and get nervous in front of someone who can read body language.

There are also those who take advantage of you and start rambling about their problems in life.

Other person: Oh how nice, could you psychoanalyze me? Maybe you can help me with this problem that I have, it turns out that the other day... blah, blah, blah ...

(Another one that believes a psychologist is the same as a psychoanalyst)

Alen: Hey, you were a dentist, right?

Other person: Yes.

Alen: Have a look at my teeth. See? I have this filling here and it hurts a little. Can you have a look at it if I open my mouth now?

And sometimes I meet people who think that the world has too many psychologists and the only thing that is needed is having good friends. (As usual, ignorance is bold.)

 

It is a fact that we all use psychological terms in our daily life conversations. We all act a little like psychologists when we use words like intelligence, personality, extraversion, depression, anxiety and stress in everyday settings. Nevertheless, when a real psychologists takes part in the conversation, things can turn out very differently.

Non psychologist person: What happens is that Mike has very little personality…

Psychologist: And how much personality is that? 100 grams of personality?

(It seems to some people that being introverted, or easily influenced by others, means having no personality at all, and being manipulative and domineering are equivalent to having one.)

Anyway, being in therapy with a psychologists and having good friends are not incompatible.

In fact the support group of a client is one of the first things that a psychologist will look at: his family and friends, or in other words: who loves you and who do you love? I think it's a basic question we all should ask ourselves from time to time, if we have not done so already.

A psychologist is not the same as a friend, and does not have the same function. A friend cannot and should not do the functions of a psychologist, as it is emotionally involved, has no specific preparation or training. What he or she must do is love and support you, not give you a diagnosis or put your in treatment.

A professional psychologist is someone who has a theoretical and practical training and has a deep knowledge of human behavior and his 'problems', and above all, has the tools to address them. It is not about giving advice, but to help others to see what is going on in their lives, how it happens, bring their attention to the things that disturb them and what may be the best way to change whatever is necessary to change. I assure you it is not an easy task.

Also keep in mind that psychology is not a synonym of psychotherapy, although a lot of people think of a psychologist as a psychotherapist. The field of psychology is much broader than psychotherapy. Psychologists are in many areas outside therapy: marketing and advertising, training courses, research projects, coaching and counseling, education, and even creating video games (the manager of the company who created Castlevania: Lord of Shadows is a psychologist.)

When you hear the word psychologist, what is the first thing that comes to your mind?

Do you believe that going to a psychologist to explain your problems is equivalent to telling them to a friend?